Relationship, relationship, relationship.

This may sound like one of those late-night info-mercials, in which, a slick sounding confidence man convinces people that buying a property with "no money down" is the road to riches-- provided you follow the three rules of real-estate success: location, location, location.

Well, I don't have anything to sell, other than my soul, and so far, I've done nothing but lose money putting that out on the Internet, but here's the truth: there is nothing more important to teaching than the way you manage relationships. Period.

Or, as the title suggests, teaching is all about: relationship, relationship, relationship.

Or, for those of you new to the profession: how good are you with people?

Now, that can be a misleading question in some ways.

I did not consider myself a people person at all before I made that fateful decision to go into teaching. Sure, I had plenty of friends. I could even be the life of a party, given the right circumstances, but, the truth is, I was not a Type A personality. Nor, did I seek out others as I tried to deal with things or issues in my life. I liked to work things out on my own, and even, could be downright shy.

I was more introvert than extrovert on the Myers-Briggs Scale.

But, when it comes to teaching, there is no place to hide, especially for the teacher who must now become a nexus for various relationships. Parker Palmer identifies three overlapping, overarching relationships: students with teacher, students with students, students and teacher with subject matter.

And this is not a bad way to look at the job of teaching: Can you manage, or can you figure out a strategy to manage, those three relationships? If you can, I submit, you will be very successful. If you can't, then, well, it may be time to think about another profession.

The good news is that there are ways to manage all three relationships successfully, and plenty of strategies, approaches and ideas for doing so.

Student to student relationships are all about pedagogy: how you conduct and organize the class. Luckily, I have developed an entire series of entries about cooperative learning on this very site, so if you are interested, curious or in need, check it out. This part of the three relationships is one that every teacher should be able to structure and handle successfully, though, there is a certain amount of giving up control.

The second relationship, teacher and students to material, is mostly about modeling, passion and authenticity. If you come to the subject matter in a genuine way and communicate that to students, you will be amazed at how quickly and how completely students take to the material. Call it magic, call it imitation, call it leadership--once the teacher digs all the way in to their elbows on something, students are sure to follow.

That leaves the last relationship, students to teacher. This one is the most natural, but also the most fraught with danger, complication and emotion. Here you have real people, real feelings and real things that happen which either push things in a good direction, or add stress and complication to an already complex arrangement.

But, basically, from a teacher's perspective, the job is to believe in a positive outcome for every student. To assume that they will grow, develop and learn and that you are there to assist in that--formally and informally. You can't take any of this too seriously; a light touch is essential, though certainly, at times, you may find yourself standing in the breach and making the crucial difference for a young person.

But, using a kid's name, writing something positive on their paper, taking time to listen, there are no shortage of ways in which you communicate to that young person that he or she matters to you. And, mysteriously, almost through attention alone, a sense of caring and concern is communicated. Suddenly the young students comes to believe that they are not in this learning situation alone, but that they have a partner, a concerned mentor, who is assisting their process.

Once you get them to this point, then you can really build upon that foundation. But you really do have to establish that positive basis first, as this article so clearly shows.

There's more to say about this topic. Much more. But, this is a good first taste on the issue, and I will be happy to expound upon more, especially if there are questions or areas that new teachers would appreciate developing further.